March, 2012

Room Service

It’s Saturday night, everything’s alright! Ya know why? The Human called my resort today and ordered me room service! She loves me! Guest services delivered me a yummy peanut butter filled Kong! Num num num!!! I tipped the service human three wags and a slobber, and asked the front desk to hold all my phone calls for the night.

You know the song, sing it!!!

“PEANUT BUTTER KONG TIME!!! (peanut butter Kong time, peanut butter Kong time!!!)”


Big Brother House

For now, let’s eavesdrop on the houseguests from outside the Big Brother house.

Lanther, camera 05

All is well at the Big Brother House. I am relaxing while waiting for my dinner after a day of playing. A bit hard to get used to being on camera all the time. I wanted to ask that cute French Poodle over for a bowl of water, but I have no privacy! What am I even supposed to do if I need to lick myself somewhere questionable?


Bed and Biscuit

My human dipped out on me this week. She hooked a dog up though, booked me a a room at a special doggy bed and biscuit. It is resorty… big playgrounds, a salt water pool and a spacious suite with a large plush bed, and no cages, just regular walls and picture windows to see out. She didn’t come through on the ocean view though (making note of that in her performance evaluation).

I get a lot of walks. I also meet and play with dogs several times a day in groups. There’s a Golden who is kind of a bitch, a Yorkie who keeps licking his privates and a Rottie who has dragon breath. But mostly cool dogs.

I got two new toys to keep with me on down time. New toys rock! I got a plush lizard which I taught a serious lesson… gangsta style… a new mini jolly ball that has a handle… AND… wait for it… the new iBone! It has Siri, so I can ask it to tell me where to find the closest peanut butter kong or how to say, “Can I lick your face?” in Pekingese, Weimeranian, Malamute and like 100 other languages!


The Hunger Games

So my human said something about “The Hunger Games” …. I was like, “Dude, yes! Food!” I got so excited! An entire game dedicated to eating! My favorite! How long would the game last? What would I be served? How much was I gonna get?! Then she walked out the door and came back a few hours later empty-handed! No doggy bag – NO FOOD GAME!!! WHAT THE @&*# ???!!!

Happy Hunger Games!!! And may the jerky treats be forever the right flavor!!!


Teachings of The Lanther

A jug fills drop by drop.

My dinner bowl empties in 3 gulps.


Teachings of The Lanther

The tongue like a sharp knife… Kills without drawing blood.

The tongue like a wet wipe… Cleans without soap and water.


Walk on the Beach

A walk on the beach with my best friend :)


1st Day of Spring – Lanther, Great Hunter of Crickets!!!

Today is the first day of Spring! The flower bulbs are sprouting in Granny’s garden and I’m proudly running through them and horsing around digging at them (by the way, Granny hates that – hee hee hee). My human runs at me waving and nagging to “get out of the garden!” But for me… it’s just a hilariously good time to keep on running and prancing all over the spots I’m not supposed to do it on! Weeeeee!!!

The dew claw broke off a little more, but now it’s about flush so less likely to catch on things. I wish to continue jumping on the fence and haranguing passersby!!! They need to know this is MY YARD!!!

Last night I saved “my people” from a menacing creature. I was laying peacefully on the living room carpet when it attacked me. A black beast with many legs and an ability to jump very high! The human called it a cricket. It bounced on me over and again! I sprang into defense! I jumped and pounced from spot to spot on the carpet, maneuvering to counterattack this dangerous enemy. In a final effort to thwart my attacker, I dug at him, the way I’ve trained in the flower bed (see humans, my digging at the bulbs has trained me to protect you!). Alas, the assailant lay still and all was quiet on the war front! I am Lanther, hear me roar! Woof! You’re welcome my peeps!!!


Pop Star Signature

Like Michael, I have but one glove… However mine’s yellow and says “no chew” rather than plain white. Who’s bad now?!!! Awooo!!!


Ouch, I ripped my dew claw!

I was playing the other day and somehow, Ouch! I tore off most of my dew claw!

It didn’t seem so bad at first, but I kept chewing it and licking it and re-catching it on things… And it got worse.

So The Human took me, The Lanther, to the doc’s office… where I got this stylin’ bandage with the little words “no chew” printed on it.

I’m not allowed to run on the beach for a week! Major bummer! I can’t even go in the yard dirt. The stylin’ bandage isn’t supposed to get “icky” – whatever!

Not fun for The Lanther!




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