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Waking Your Human

How do you go about waking your human in the morning? 

I like to start out my process by making myself comfortable. I take over as much of the bed as possible. Sometimes I slide my way from the bottom of the bed to the pillows. 

In the case The Human… she has learned to adapt to my bed and pillow hogging strategy. Generally she repositions and continues to hang on to her state of unconsciousness. I let this go on for ONLY SO LONG. The trick is to disrupt the sleep cycle. I start to move around a lot, often shooting my legs straight out and jabbing The Human. (I find that the ribs and face are particularly effective targets). I also perform lots of tossing, turning and flipping moves, sometimes inflicting wrestling-style body drops on her with my butt.

In the case of The Human… she is a PROFESSIONAL. She manages many times to work around even difficult-to-ignore maneuvers. So if you have an equally difficult human, what else can you do?

You now have no choice but to GET ALL UP IN THEIR GRILL. Make sure your nose is nice and cold… wet and drooling too, if possible. Abruptly apply your nose to the face of your victim. You can stick to the less invasive “forehead touch,” or go for the gusto with the more extreme “nose to mouth.”

IMG_2891 (Baloo Pillow Nudge) IMG_2887  (Baloo Pillow Nose)

Still not getting the desired result? Try using the method I like to call The Intense Stare (TIS). For this you want to position yourself so that your face is directed toward your human’s face. You must concentrate deeply so that your stare becomes piercing to your human, even through the deep mist of sleep.

The Intense Stare (ITS)

The Intense Stare (ITS)

I find TIS quite effective with The Human no matter what level of consciousness she may be experiencing. Sleeping humans often become very aware of an overwhelming feeling that they are being watched while TIS is being executed. Opening their eyes to see what is there is almost instinctual.

IMG_2880  (Baloo Pillow Wake Up 1)
Using TIS on sleeping victim.
IMG_2881  (Baloo Pillow Wake Up 2)
TIS effectively wakes sleeping victim.

If all of this passive aggressive behavior fails to wake your Human… you will have no choice but to resort to more assertive methods. Bark, jump on the bed, pull the blankets, paw slap, lick, etc. It is ok, you tried lesser methods, and they did not listen. They asked for it!

When you want your Humans to get up and tend to your needs, YOU TELL THEM!

Happy Waking!!!

My Human – The Paparazzi

My human is like the canine paparazzi.  There I was, enjoying my walk, and wouldn’t you know it… “Lanther!  Lanther!  Look this way in front of the flower garden.”  She tried the “treat” word to get me to look at the camera, but I was having NONE OF IT!!!

She just couldn’t resist a photo opportunity.  I had to sit and wait while she ***click, click, clicked*** Seriously, chick? Let’s roll out!!! These paws have road to tread!!!

Alright human, I see something important over there, looks like a poodle I’d like to meet.  Let’s go or I’ll drag you there myself!!!

If a human actor were to be my voice in a movie, whose voice would you choose?

Image

(See Poll at Facebook link below… please “LIKE” me while you’re there, too!!!) 

http://www.facebook.com/questions/2249 …

Unintentional Delay

Dearest Peeps,

I have been delayed on my postings. I apologize… it is my human typist. I don’t know how to work her word machine to send out stuff without her assistance. She has been preoccupied with things like relocating us, so I only got her to sit with me for a short time whilst I dictate what I wish her to type.

I (We) plan to get back into the loop soon! For now, please check out something my human read… she tells me she believes it is true what the story says about us dogs.

Catching Up on Posts: It’s my leash now PLUS the Human returns/Lanther leaves the Resort

So I’m a little bit behind on posting… I blame the human.  She distracted me upon her return from wherever she went.

Let’s catch up!

See the webcam photo below from my little resort vacation?  Notice anything specific? See that little leash-looking item?  That’s right… I took it from guest services and they couldn’t get it back.  Hee hee hee!!! What a fun game that was!  It was my last day so I figured it would be fun to bamboozle them a little.

Then when my human showed to pick me up… I did my canine duty of mauling her in joyous welcome and trying to casually acquire a few more toys that were laying around the lobby. Weee!!! Look at her trying to keep up with my clepto-mouth!!! LOL!!! I really wanted that lamb-looking toy!!!  Darn!

See the video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBiUDVAOdes

Room Service

It’s Saturday night, everything’s alright! Ya know why? The Human called my resort today and ordered me room service! She loves me! Guest services delivered me a yummy peanut butter filled Kong! Num num num!!! I tipped the service human three wags and a slobber, and asked the front desk to hold all my phone calls for the night.

You know the song, sing it!!!

“PEANUT BUTTER KONG TIME!!! (peanut butter Kong time, peanut butter Kong time!!!)”

20120331-172853.jpg

Stupid Human Tricks #1 – Give Paw

Lanther humors us by responding to one of the all time silliest human tricks… “Give Paw”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGwKeLT7LNM

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