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Waking Your Human

How do you go about waking your human in the morning? 

I like to start out my process by making myself comfortable. I take over as much of the bed as possible. Sometimes I slide my way from the bottom of the bed to the pillows. 

In the case The Human… she has learned to adapt to my bed and pillow hogging strategy. Generally she repositions and continues to hang on to her state of unconsciousness. I let this go on for ONLY SO LONG. The trick is to disrupt the sleep cycle. I start to move around a lot, often shooting my legs straight out and jabbing The Human. (I find that the ribs and face are particularly effective targets). I also perform lots of tossing, turning and flipping moves, sometimes inflicting wrestling-style body drops on her with my butt.

In the case of The Human… she is a PROFESSIONAL. She manages many times to work around even difficult-to-ignore maneuvers. So if you have an equally difficult human, what else can you do?

You now have no choice but to GET ALL UP IN THEIR GRILL. Make sure your nose is nice and cold… wet and drooling too, if possible. Abruptly apply your nose to the face of your victim. You can stick to the less invasive “forehead touch,” or go for the gusto with the more extreme “nose to mouth.”

IMG_2891 (Baloo Pillow Nudge) IMG_2887  (Baloo Pillow Nose)

Still not getting the desired result? Try using the method I like to call The Intense Stare (TIS). For this you want to position yourself so that your face is directed toward your human’s face. You must concentrate deeply so that your stare becomes piercing to your human, even through the deep mist of sleep.

The Intense Stare (ITS)

The Intense Stare (ITS)

I find TIS quite effective with The Human no matter what level of consciousness she may be experiencing. Sleeping humans often become very aware of an overwhelming feeling that they are being watched while TIS is being executed. Opening their eyes to see what is there is almost instinctual.

IMG_2880  (Baloo Pillow Wake Up 1)
Using TIS on sleeping victim.
IMG_2881  (Baloo Pillow Wake Up 2)
TIS effectively wakes sleeping victim.

If all of this passive aggressive behavior fails to wake your Human… you will have no choice but to resort to more assertive methods. Bark, jump on the bed, pull the blankets, paw slap, lick, etc. It is ok, you tried lesser methods, and they did not listen. They asked for it!

When you want your Humans to get up and tend to your needs, YOU TELL THEM!

Happy Waking!!!

Space Hog

As I bid thee all good night, I just want to make it clear… I get 80% of the bed no matter what the bed size. MWAH HA HA!!!

20120421-001234.jpg

Enter Sandman

…chase tennis ball… mmmphh… milkbone… {snore} … Zzzz

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